Kvetching

What is it? It sounds like some form of ball game doesn’t it? I think it would be a good name for a game. Actually, kvetching is Yiddish for “complaining.” Is it good or is it bad? I think it can be either. Are parents allowed kvetching? Should children be allowed to kvetch? I think it all depends on whether or not the kvetching is constructive. Everyone needs the chance to vent—to get things out in the open. The old adage, “children are to be seen and not heard,” is offensive to me. Good, effective communication skills are the hardest things to learn. Why try to quiet children when they are trying to make their challenges known?

Since the word “complaining” is so commonplace in our English language, could “kvetching” be used as a clue word between parent and child or parent to parent, that “Hey, I really need you to listen to me!” A child might say, “Hey dad. I need to do some kvetching.” Dad’s ears perk up and he says, “Okay, let’s hear what you have to say.” This sounds simple, but it would get my attention.

Perhaps a few other things could be considered when it comes to kvetching. 1) For every item that is complained about, the complainer has to have 2 things that he/she can speak well of. 2) As children get older, they need to come to you with a list of possible solutions to the things they are kvetching about. 3) Encourage the child to keep a “Kvetching Journal” wherein he/she writes down the things that disturb him/her. I learned this secret a long time ago: If something is bothering me, I will brood over it trying to remember why I am justified in being upset. Amazingly, as soon as I write everything down, my mind relaxes because it isn’t trying to remember all of its justifications for upset, and moves on. Rarely do I have to refer back to the journal entry because I forget about the upset and have solved the problem while evaluating it on paper.

I hesitate to do so, but here’s wishing you—HAPPY KVETCHING!!!