Read, Read, Read!!!

At first I was just going to write this message to my family and then I read in the Ensign this morning that we should not be afraid to Blog our testimonies. So, with this is mind along with hoping everyone that reads this will remember that these are just my thoughts and feelings, I will proceed.

What is important to me today that I express is: I think reading is one of the most important skills and interests anyone could acquire. I keep telling my daughters (and now my sons in this blog)that as they rear their children, they must be sure to encourage them to seek out a spouse that loves to read and does so with the purpose to learn. I would encourage them to find a spouse that seeks learning by learning from others experiences that are shared in a good book. Does that make sense? If a person fills his free time with learning opportunities in a good book instead of using his free time simply for entertainment, he gains wisdom and understanding from those that have had experience--he is progressing and gaining knowledge that he or she will carry for the rest of their lives. I could not have reared my children nor made the progress I made as a homemaker if I had not been blessed to read books written by other women that shared their wisdom and experience.

A few weeks ago a young man in our ward gave this scenario. Picture your self trying to get to the Savior. He is on an upper floor and you are trying to go up on an escalator that is going down. If you ever stop climbing, you immediately lose ground. It takes effort and perseverance to get up to where Christ is. That is how our eternal progression is. The only things we can take with us beyond the grave is our knowledge and our relationships. If we aren't progressing we are retrogressing.

I am not saying I am perfect at what I am encouraging. I waste a lot of time on entertainment in front of the television or movie screen. Sometimes it's nice to relax and do nothing. I know, however, that one must be very cautious. We can get in the habit of allowing ourselves to be mesmerized (this is Satan's tool and it is a form of hypnotism). We can also become mesmerized in front of the computer screen and on video games. I am always amazed at how much time passes when I get into a computer game of solitaire. And I can never, never recapture that time that has passed. Often, I reflect on what I could have learned from reading a good book during the time I lost playing the insignificant game.

And while I am encouraging my children's children to find spouses that read, read, read, I would be amiss to not say, "Dear grandchildren, you must learn to read, too. And you must read to learn. You will then be prepared to be a spouse to someone whose grandmother encouraged them to find a spouse that reads a lot, too."

One more thing (and this is just my musing). We know that the Savior understands everything that we are going through. I have often wondered how he could if he never sinned. How could he understand the feelings of a thief, an adulterer, a time waster, someone that feels inadequate, someone that is friendless, someone that is an abuser? I have had the thought that he learned from others as they shared their experiences. He learned from reading, he learned from visions and dreams. Our Godhead have given visions and dreams to prophets that have shared what they have learned in written form. Always, always, we should take time each day to learn from the scriptures. I have written enough therefore you have read enough (but only on what I have to say on this subject today!). Now go and read, read, read!!!

Happy Sabbath

Ahhh! The Sabbath, a day of rest. I think of this day as a day set apart from my regular routine—this makes the day restful. Yes, I feel free to rest my body with a nap. But a change is as good as a rest. I ask myself, “What can I do today that will bring me closer to my Savior?” Or, “What can I do today that will draw me closer to my family and friends?” Always, it comes down to using the day’s time wisely, with prudence, for this time is precious to me.

If my family is gathered around me, it is a good day or so I used to think. Now, being together is not enough for often they may be with me after church; but we are in front of the television watching an appropriate movie (I hope). But alas, being in the same room together does not mean we are interacting with one another—spending time with one another.

If any of my dear readers are like me, do you sometimes feel so tired that you are grateful for the T.V. to entertain so that you can catch a few winks? It has occurred to me that this is the routine. We eat together and then put on a good movie and in minutes the children are playing and the adults are mesmerized to the screen or sawing logs. I see this as my family’s problem—we’re together in body mass but interaction is limited on the Sabbath. I have even had different family members say, “Hey! It’s the Sabbath. I am relaxing.” How do we overcome this restful“ addiction?” I can only see one way. Resist with all the energy of our souls and force ourselves to get up out of the chair and become like the children (isn’t there a scripture about this?)—play with them. Everyone has to be united in this effort. Mom can’t be the only one to initiate this. Dad can’t do a solo. Today, unite! Establish goals for interaction with one another (husband and wife, father and child, mother and child, the whole family). Allow T.V. only for a really special program.

I would love to hear how you spend your Sabbaths. Perhaps someone could give me ideas on how to overcome our restful habits. Time with family is precious. I know this. I just want more quality and quantity time. How about you?

A Book Of Their Own In No Time At All

I have few regrets concerning my life. Today, however, I do wish to share one thing that I wish I would have had the insight to do—to follow through on, and that is helping each of my children to start a journal, a book written by them in their handwriting, illustrated by them, told in their own words.

It really would have been quite simple if I had established a time each day or each week for journaling and made that time sacred. I think...no...I know I was always too focused on “get the work done so we can relax and watch a good show on television or a movie in the VCR.” (Here’s the subject of the blasted TV again. My! It’s a time waster!)

At any rate, I know I don’t remember the shows we watched; but I surely would like to remember some of the things my children said and the things they did. I would love to read from a journal that they wrote. And, I am sure my children would like to read about their experiences and thoughts of childhood, too.

A few weeks ago, I found a box of things my daughter, Michelle, kept from her school years. There were little books her teachers had had her make that were so precious. As I read some of her thoughts in her childhood handwriting, I had the thought that I had no idea she was really concerned about certain things. In recent years she has told me of her childhood concerns and I had wondered how exact Michelle’s memory really was; but now, here I found these concerns written down and they had been real.

So, take some advice from someone that can tell you what you will regret if your children grow up too soon and you have no record of their childhood from their perspective. Have your children start journaling! Be firm on this. Have your whole family start sitting down together with a journal in front of each person and have each family member write about his day and or week. Encourage each writer to record personal experiences, funny incidents, scary moments, exciting times, hopes and wishes, unusual dreams, personal thoughts, things learned in school, holiday fun and summertime happenings.

If you are faithful in daily or weekly writing time, it won’t be long before each family member will have written a book. Then, I know you will have no regrets.

On Growing a Child's Brain

“When they get to school, the teachers tell us today’s children can’t negotiate; they’re having trouble with social conversations. They’re having trouble because they’re accustomed to just pushing a button and the machine they’re on just reacting to them. The other thing that’s declining now is fantasy play, the ability to imagine, the ability to think up new scenarios, new stories, new ideas, and new concepts in your own head. Kids are having all these stories brought to them so vividly on the screen that they’re not playing imaginatively themselves; and this has got to be a great loss in terms of the future of creativity of the people in this country.” (Jane M. Healy, Ph.D. educational psychologist and author of Your Child’s Growing Mind)

Let’s not wait until our children are in school to decide television should be limited. Also, let’s not wait until our children are in school for them to begin learning different concepts that could and should be learned at home.

For example, you can start teaching your wee babe basic mathematics by counting everything that is familiar to him. Start with his body. Talk to him. Say, “This is your mouth. This is your ear. Oh, you have another ear! Here is your nose. These are your toes.” Count them, “One, two, three, for five toes!” Count actions such as blinking eyes, climbing stairs, “One, two, three stairs.” Count everything with your child: toys, blocks, bites of food eaten, books, steps, people, chairs, etc.

Always talk to your baby and tell him what he is experiencing—what he is tasting, what he is smelling, what he is feeling. If your are tickling his back, tell him that is what you are doing.

Why is it important to do these things? Picture a little seed for each of your child’s 100 billion brain cells. As the child is exposed to a variety of stimulating experiences, each cell is capable of sprouting up to 20,000 different branches to store the new information. So, in a way, the child literally grows his own brain. So, with this in mind, you are helping your child grow his brain if you try to give him every opportunity to develop it through his play (which is really a child’s work). See “Learning Fundamentals,” by Colin Rose and Gordon Dryden; pg. 10.

"Caughtcha”

At my son-in-law’s work, his bosses have and incentive program to encourage workers to be at their best all the time. It’s called “Caught ya.’” Basically the bosses give out tickets when they see good work, extra effort, good attitude, etc. The employees then put their tickets into a drawing container. The bosses pick and choose when they want to have their “Caught ya’” day (no one ever knows when it’s going to be). But on that day there is great excitement because great prizes are handed out to those employees that have their tickets drawn.

Well, this got me thinking. Wouldn’t it be great fun to have a “Caughtcha” tradition in your family? Oh, it could really be BIG! Parents could brainstorm on what behavior, work, attitudes, goals accomplished, etc. that they wanted their children to focus on. Then, they could have another brainstorm session on prizes to be given at random drawings. These could be coupons for back rubs, an outing, a game of the child’s choice, help with a project or cleaning a room, etc. You get the idea. Even your children could submit prize coupons for things they would like to do for other members of the family that win. I guess if your budget allows, you could even purchase grand prizes of toys and games, books or art supplies, etc. Or you could have a prize bag with a coupon that gives the winning child a chance to choose from the prize bag. You would also have to decide how you wanted "Caughcha" tickets to be given—just by mom and dad. Could children suggest siblings that have done something nice? I first thought that everyone could submit tickets for their siblings but Rachael said the siblings would scheme and say, “I’ll put your name in if you’ll put my name in.” Rachael’s probably right. So, again, you can think all of these things through on your own.

I can see great benefits for this type of tradition. First, think of the service family members could give to others if they made up coupons to add to the prize box. Also, children may not get instant gratification for good behavior so they must learn patience. "Caughtcha" would get everyone focusing on the good of others. And, everyone would have something to look forward to on a regular basis. Anyway, it’s just an idea but I would love to try it if I were in that stage of life still. Oh and one more thing:

It’s “Turn off the T.V. Week.” I found a neat site to go to for more ideas for you and your family to investigate for good times together:

http://family.go.com/entertainment/pkg-tv-turnoff/

Family Activity Fun Box

I am sure, if you are like me, usually you don’t mind fixing dinner if you know what you want to prepare. The challenge is in the decision of “What shall I fix?” I think the same holds true with spending quality time with your family. If you can’t think of something to do, you allow television or other non-planned things to take over the time you could spend together as a family. So, what can you do to prevent this? How about making a Family Activity Fun Box.

I’m sure I don’t need to give you suggestions but I will anyway because it will help me get mine done for times when my grandchildren are here. I think I’ll use a cute box and have fun decorating it. (Your children can help you, too.) Think of all the activities you would like to do with your family and write them on slips of paper. During this step be sure to include family members. Some of the things I would like to do will be different than yours because my grandchildren range from the ages of 9 years-old to newborn. Here are some suggestions to get you thinking: 1) bowling, 2)read a book aloud 3) play “hot/cold” 4) go for a walk 5) swing 6) play in a sandbox 7)hide treasures in the sandbox and then allow everyone time to dig for “buried treasure 8) have pizza delivered and play a game 9) make cookies and take them to a neighbor 10) lay on the ground and look at the stars by night or the clouds by day.

Be sure to replenish the slips of paper either by replacing them or by adding to the box as family members come up with more ideas. Truly, if you don’t have alternative ideas for filling your time, the unwanted fillers will monopolize your family’s time.

No more "Boo Hoos" because of the "Tube!"

I received the following as an email the other day from my dear friend Carol. (Thanks Carol!) I have no idea whether this really happened but surely it could have. I sense that there are many children all over the world that feel television, computers, and the telephone are all competition for attention they need so badly. Read this and let me know what you think:

A teacher from Primary School asks her students to write an essay about what they would like God to do for them. At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional.
Her husband, that had just walked in, saw her crying and asked her, “What happened?”

She answered, “Read this. It's one of my student's essays.”

“Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television.
I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place, and have my family around ME . To be taken seriously when I talk....I want to be the center of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired. And I want
my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me... And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me... I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me. And last but not least, make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them...Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV.”

At that moment the husband said:
“My goodness, poor kid. What horrible parents!”

She looked up at him and said, “That essay is our son's!!!” Author Unknown

Have you ever tried removing the television for an extended period of time? While we were raising our family, we eliminated television for extended periods of time several times. It didn’t hurt the children one bit. In fact, it seemed like those times were more blissful and our family was connected. Usually we would justify returning to the television so that we could watch General Conference.

General Conference ended last week and so we have a six-month period where television can be eliminated. What a perfect time for a family experiment. What can your family do without television? Here’s what I thought of: 1) Plan, plant, weed & water, & harvest a garden together. 2) Go for walks, hikes, or runs together. 3) Spruce up your yard. 4) Have cooking school. 5) Sing songs. 6) Learn how to play instruments together. 7) Make popcorn balls. 8) Visit friends and loved ones. 9) Go to a nearby canyon or park and have a picnic. 10) Play games. 11) Make a family video. 12) Have a puppet show. 13) Play with play dough. 14) Make collages of seeds, grains, or things you can find from your yard. 15) Read stories together. 16) Have a talent show. 17) Catch grasshoppers. 18) Do a project or craft together. 19) Play music and dance and be silly together. 20) Do service projects together. 21) Work on merit badges with your sons or value experiences with your daughters. 22) exercise together. 23) Get on the floor and play with your tiny ones. 24) Visit local museums, libraries, parks, etc. 25) Draw (scribble) together. 26)Go for bikes rides. 27) And, don’t forget to get your children’s ideas for things you can do together & write them down.

I hope I’ll be seeing you on one of your evening’s outings since you’ll now make time to visit. Put me on your list, okay? We would love to see you!!!