Shall We Gather 'Round the Dinner Table?

I'll never forget while eating lunch with Michelle at Primary Children's Hospital I observed a little girl about Sophie's age (at that time Sophie was almost two), sitting quietly across from her mother, using a fork and eating her lunch. She didn't stand on her chair or get off of it over and over for that matter. She ate well and her mother would talk to her in a quiet, calm way. I was struck with the thought, "This little girl's family sits together as a family and eats their dinner together on a regular basis." Intrigued, I asked the mother if they did indeed eat often together as a family. The mother's eyes brightened as she said, "Yes, this is very important to me for my family." Michelle and I then had a lovely chat with this fine mother.

Now, with time to think about this important subject, "Eating together as a Family," I would like to share some ideas of why it is important and also things that can be done as we gather as a family around the table.

Dinnertime is often the only time a family has to be together. I think one would agree that it is important that at least once a day all members of the family sit down together and relax and find out what everybody's day has been like. Also, a little bit of effort put into making each meal special goes a long way toward health and contentment. As families get older, there will be times when a family member is absent. If we make dinnertime together a priority, however, we will have more times being together than not.

There is so much that can be done around the table. Here are a few ideas with no particular order of importance: 1) Have Culture or Ethnic nights. Let family members choose what they want to learn about. Plan assignments such as who will find recipes fitting the culture, who will prepare them, someone to find interesting facts about a culture, someone to find music from that culture to be listened to while eating, perhaps an after dinner craft related to the culture could be made. Be creative and enthused. This could become a favorite monthly event. 2) At some time during the day (preferably when the family is gathered for morning scriptures and prayer), have family members express their wish for "today." Write it down (So you might consider having a scribe). Then, at dinnertime, allow each family member time to share how or if their wish came to pass. The scribe could record a little bit of this and it could become a family journal about things learned and experienced. What a treasure this would be! 3)Have a "Scripture of the Week." Memorization could be rewarded. Values could be applied. Just think, 52 scriptures could be internalized in a year's time. Again, a record could be kept of which scriptures have been treasured. 4) Make a conversation jar and keep it as part of the centerpiece at your dinner table.(I'll give you a good start for this jar in my next blog.) Each night you could have someone pull out a question to be discussed by the entire family. Be sure to encourage "all" to participate. Keep a sense of humor (to me this is the most important rule) and never allow criticism or derogatory comments to be added by others while someone else is focusing on the question. (Manners are thus learned at the dinner table.) 5)Play different types of music during your meals and allow family members the time to discuss what the music does for their moods and the level of enjoyment the music allows them while eating their food. 6)Discuss important "news events" of the day. 7) Learn about a different value each week. Share experiences that you have learned about that value each evening.

Well, I am sure you can see the value of gathering 'round the dinner table. Don't just say, "I'll work on it." Remember and do it. The benefits will be great and you surely won't have any regrets.

Shall we gather 'round the table?

In my mind, I've been wondering if families have lost an important opportunity to gather and enjoy one another on a regular basis because they no longer have sit-down meals together? Oh, they might eat together--in front of the television. (I know we do this far too often!) But, something is lost when a family fails to enjoy time together around the dinner table. Can you think of some benefits of eating at least one meal together as a family? Think about it and I will, too. Later, I will share some of my ideas on the benefits of togetherness at the table. Until then, enjoy the
following amazing little recipe that I think any fine cook would want to have for her family. The suggested variations make it fun. Enjoy!

Anytime Drop-in Biscuits

2 c flour
3 T sugar
4 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
2/3 c shortening
1 large egg
1 c milk

Mix dry ingredients together. Cut in shortening. Mix egg and milk, then add to flour-shortening mixture, and stir just till moist. Drop by heaping tablespoonfuls on greased baking sheet. Bake at 425 F for 10-12 minutes. For Breakfast: Make a well in top of unbaked biscuit and fill with teaspoon of fruit preserves. For lunch: Add 1/2 c of grated cheese to dry ingredients. For dinner: Add 1/2 c currants and 1/4 c chopped walnuts. OR: Make them pure and simple and eat with butter, gravy, honey, or absolutely no topping at all!

Kids DO SAY the dardest things!

I just need to share this: Last night Shaun and Brooke came to visit. It had been a very enjoyable evening and I enjoyed every minute right up to the time they were packing up to go home. Macee began singing her "abc's" in a jumbled fashion saying "w, x, z," and "q, r, s," and then back to "a, b, c," and then "do you want to p?" Brooke and I began to laugh, of course. Oh, the innocence of a child!

Earlier, dear little Macee had come to me and asked me to rock her. Of course, I couldn't refuse. Sadly it didn't last long. She spied a child's wooden chair and asked if she could get it and set it next to me. She sat down and then looked at me seriously and said, "Gaamaa, I hold you now." I parroted her request and she affirmed that she wanted to hold me. So being the good grandma that I am(ha! ha!), I complied. She was so pleased to think that she could hold grandma.

Sweet blessings from Heaven

I told Rachael that I should write a new blog but was at a loss at what I could write about. Without hesitation, Rachael said write about your 13th grandchild. What a good idea! Why didn't I think about that? Could it be because I'm so dizzy that it's hard to think?

Well, anyway, Xzander Richard Bennett was born yesterday. He is my 13th grandchild. He shares his birthday with his great Aunt Janine. What a special day. I think he looks just like his brothers. There are those that agree. I guess I should say I am thankful for cell phones, and texting, (modern tech.)because I would otherwise be unable to see this sweet baby until pictures are developed and sent by mail. I am thankful for the miracle of phones, too. If you can't be near loved ones, phones and computers make it so much more bearable.

Grandchildren are the light of each day. I find joy just thinking about them. They grow all too quickly (just like my children did), and I find there is not enough time for them or me to do all that I would like to do with them. I hope there are grandchildren (that are wee) in heaven when we no longer have to deal with the aging process or time--just enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!!

The Old Fisherman

This morning I took the opportunity to turn on some Christmas music and then re-type a story that I had received as a girl. The words of the story were badly faded and I wanted to capture them before they were lost forever. With the Christmas music reverently playing in the background, I thought as I typed the story, "This would make a perfect Christmas story! It portrays all of the elements of what Christ tried to teach us while he walked upon the earth: to love one another, to give our best, to have gratitude for the good and the bad, have compassion, and endure to the end." At first I thought I would save the story for "next year as a gift to loved ones and friends." But then the thought came, "No, share it now." So, here it is. Turn on some lovely, reverent Christmas music and bask in the true spirit of Christmas Charity:

The Old Fisherman

Our house was directly across the street from the clinic entrance of John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. We lived downstairs and rented the upstairs rooms to outpatients at the clinic.

One summer evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at the door, I opened it to see a truly awful looking old man.

“Why, he’s hardly taller than my eight-year old,” I thought as I stared at the stooped, shriveled body. But, the appalling thing was his face—lopsided from swelling; red and raw.

Yet his voice was pleasant as he said, “Good evening, I’ve come to see if you’ve a room for just one night. I came for a treatment this morning from the Eastern shore, and there’s no bus ‘till morning.”

He told me he’d been hunting for a room since noon but with no success. “I guess it’s my face. I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says with a few more treatments….”

For a moment I hesitated but his next words convinced me, “I could sleep in this rocking chair on the porch. My bus leaves early in the morning.”

I told him we would find him a bed, but to rest on the porch and talk for a few minutes. It didn’t take long to see that this old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body.

He told me that he fished for a living to support his daughter, her five children, and her husband, who was hopelessly crippled from back injuries. He didn’t tell it by way of complaint; every other sentence was prefaced with a thanks to God for a blessing. He was grateful that no pain accompanied his disease, which was apparently a form of skin cancer. He thanked God for giving him the strength to keep going.

At bedtime, we put a camp cot in the children’s room for him. When I got up in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded and the little man was out on the porch. He refused breakfast, but just before he left for his bus, haltingly, as if asking for a great favor, he said, “Could I please come back and stay the next time I have to have a treatment? I won’t put you out a bit...I can sleep fine in a chair.” He paused a moment and then added, “Your children made me feel at home. Grownups are bothered by my face, but children don’t seem to mind.”

I told him he was welcome to come again. And on his next trip he arrived a little after seven in the morning. As a gift, he brought a big fish and a quart of the largest oysters I had ever seen. He said he had shucked them that morning before he left so they would be nice and fresh. I know his bus left at four a.m. and wondered what time he had to get up in order to do this.

In the years he came to stay overnight with us, there was never a time that he did not bring us fish or oysters or vegetables from his garden.

Other times we received packages in the mail, always by special delivery; fish and oysters packed in a box of fresh young spinach or kale, every leaf carefully washed. Knowing that he must walk three miles to mail these, and how little money he had, made the gifts doubly precious.

When I received these little remembrances, I often thought of a comment our next door neighbor made after he left that first morning, “Did you keep that awful looking man last night? I turned him away. You can lose roomers by putting up such people.”

And maybe we did, once or twice, but oh! If they only could have know him perhaps their illnesses would have been easier to bear. I know our family always will be grateful to have known him; from him we learned what it was to accept the bad without complaint and the good with gratitude to God.

Recently I was visiting a friend who has a greenhouse. As she showed me her flowers we came to the most beautiful of all; a golden chrysanthemum, bursting with blooms. But to my great surprise it was growing in an old, dented, rusty bucket. I thought to myself, if this were my plant I’d put it in the loveliest container I had. My friend changed my mind.

“I ran short on pots,” she explained, “And knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn’t mind starting in this old pail. It’s just for a little while, ‘till I can put it out in the garden.”

She must have wondered why I laughed so delightedly, but I was imagining just such a scene in heaven. “Here’s an especially beautiful one,” God might have said when he came to the soul of the fisherman. “He won’t mind starting in the small body.”

But that’s behind now, long ago, and in God’s garden how tall this lovely soul must stand.

Author Unknown

In spite of the sadness (very deep) of losing my dad this past month, and in spite of my mother having an accident just 9 days after dad's death, may I just say that this has been a beautiful Fall. I am learning so much. I have felt the influence of a loving Father in Heaven as he has allowed me to learn more about my Dad and his goodness. I have been reassured that I am blessed to be the one to spend so much time with my mother as she recovers and tries to settle Dad's affairs. Of course, by myself I would not have chosen to have my schedule changed every day, but I realize that I am experiencing things that I will never have the opportunity to learn from again. In quiet moments I have felt sweet assurances that all is well and that if I move forward in faith, everything (absolutely everything) will work out if I will just trust in the Lord and pray for His will to be done. I am content to wait upon the Lord and in my waiting I am enjoying glorious views of orange and red Alpine mountains with low clouds and snow capped vistas. I don't remember apples being juicier and crisper, nor do I remember greener tomato vines with big, luscious tomatoes.

I am blessed to be a new Grandma for the 12th time. Little Jaxton arrived on Sept. 24 and I think he's as cute as any baby ever born. He brings peace, too. I ask, "Why am I so blessed?"

When the children gather here with their little ones and show love and affection to "Gampa" or "new gammaw" (my mother) I feel as if my heart will burst with joy because of the love that is felt. Alas, isn't that what it's all about? Love? Love of God; Love of our neighbors; Love one another! Conference conveyed this message--Just love one another. It's easy for me to understand and do right now. It is good--it is the best!!!! God bless us--everyone!!!

Obituray of my father...

Bruce Richard Nelson

1929 ~ 2009

Bruce Richard Nelson, 80, died peacefully while surrounded by loved ones on Monday, September 14, 2009 in Provo, Utah. Bruce was born May 22, 1929, the only child of Allen Richard and Ruby Johnson Nelson. Bruce is survived by his loving and devoted wife of 62 years, Earlene R Van Wagoner, 4 children, Allen Tommy, Salt Lake; Lyle Richard (Sherrie) American Fork; Lori (Jeffrey) Bennett, Alpine; Kari (Kurt) Schwendiman, Moscow, Idaho; 20 grandchildren. Bruce had a special relationship with each of his grandchildren. Each can tell of special times with Bruce and Earlene.

Bruce was an active member of the LDS Church, and served a mission with his wife in Omaha, Nebraska. He retired from Geneva Steel after 38 years of service.

The family wishes to express their love and gratitude to all who have shown love and compassion to Bruce during his years of battling illnesses. He loved you all and he felt his life was rich because you were "his friends."

Funeral services will be held Friday, September 18, 2009 at 11 am in the Anderson & Sons Mortuary Chapel, 49 E 100 N, American Fork. Visitations will be Thursday evening from 6 to 8 pm and Friday 9:30 to 10:45 am at the mortuary. Burial, Alpine City Cemetery. Online condolences may be sent at andersonmortuary.com

A Week of Education?

Surprise, I'm making another attempt at blogging. I don't spend time blogging because I spend too much of my computer time enjoying the blogs of others. There's some real talent and fun experiences out there in cyberspace.

The best thing I have done for myself lately is spending a week at Education Week. I even stayed in the dorms. I spent almost all of my time listening to inspiring teachers, studying my notes, my scriptures and reading. I came home with every intention for "change" Or would a better word be "improvement?" Alas, the minute I drove in our driveway I knew I was in trouble because it seemed as if an intentional maze was created to thwart any attempt to get in my house or to "leave the world behind." Scrap metal lay strewn on the driveway, a dumpster came next, this was followed by a dump truck in the middle of the driveway and rose bushes blocking the only way to drive around the truck. The motor home was still taking up a big portion of the driveway and because it was there, Zak and Rachael's cars were parked further out in the lane. "We have a used-car lot," the devil mimicked. Continuing on I found I had to drive on the grass to get around Jeff's Toyota. I opened the garage and there sat our red truck--smack-dab in the middle of the garage. Thus, I was unable to pull in the garage. I started to cry as the words came to my mind, "Welcome home, Lori." I should have gone in the house and secluded myself until I gained my composure, but because Michelle had called me just as I found the maze, I was on the phone with her and didn't think about the consequences of finding Jeff and crying. I will say no more on this subject other than I ruined his day. I am still so sorry!!! On the ride home from Provo all I really wanted to do when I got home was run to Jeff, throw my arms around him and thank him for allowing me to spend this wonderful week filling my cup to overflowing. So, my question is, "How do you leave the world behind you?" I am sorely lacking in my ability to figure this great "need" out. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to advise.

What's So funny?

I can't believe it has been so long since I blogged. I guess I fail to see too much that would interest anyone. I guess I don't think about my life too much from day to day-I just try to keep busy and get things done along with trying to learn something new each day.

At any rate, this week I have the privilege of sorting fruit for S & R Fruit. I think it's great fun. Yesterday was my first day and when I was through, I was talkative (Jeff, Rachael and Zak thought it was pretty funny). But what started my talkativeness was a text message I received from Devan in Texas. He asked me "If you could have anything for Christmas, with no exceptions, what would you want?" I didn't know how to text him back so I called. He was at work but Heather wanted to know what I would answer.

I told her I would have their family move back to Utah. I then asked if that was the answer they expected. She replied, "Devan will call you back tomorrow." I then told Heather that Devan would have to call me back earlier than 1:30 because "I have to go to work." It was at this point that Rachael (who was listening) about busted a gut laughing. I didn't realize that I had said anything funny. Heather questioned, "You have to go to work? You have a job somewhere else besides Ben-Crete?" Rachael quickly said through her laughter, "That hit me so funny. I've never heard you say you 'have to go to work!'"

I think all of us must be bonkers to have something so trivial make everyone laugh so hard. Jeff got home about this time and asked what was going on. I told him about my conversation with Heather and how I had told her to have Devan call me before I had to go to work and Jeff started laughing, too. I guess the only thing funnier would be if I had to dress up and announced that I was going to work and the work away from home was permanent and not just a four day job.

I don't know who needs to get a life more--me or the ones that had a good laugh over something so non-funny.

Never hike alone.

Rachael has been pestering me to share this experience I had while at the Bennett Family Reunion. A group of us (woman and children) hiked up Timp's trail about 2 miles. We were going to see some impressively glorious waterfalls. We had arrived and enjoyed the falls and rested while eating granola bars and drinking some water. It was at this point I realized I would soon need a restroom. I told Jillene that I thought I had better start back for a bathroom after inquiring whether everyone was ready to start back and she told me "no." I said that I must go then and jokingly said, "If you see me laying along the trail, pick me up and drag me back to camp." As I turned to go, the thought came, "You shouldn't go alone." So I turned back to Jillene and asked, "Do you think there is anyone else that needs to go now, too?" She responded, "No, go ahead."

I then had the dismissing thought, "Jillene is always alone. She would not think twice about going alone." So with that thought, I turned and went on my way with a quick prayer in my heart that I would be okay. I found myself analyzing how I was walking and what could happen to me while going down this good trail alone. I told myself to take my time and to step carefully.

Along the trail there are several waterfalls that cross it. Coming up the trail I was able to cross each watery area by stepping on stones. This was my plan for going down the trail too. As I came to one such waterway I saw a large boulder to step on. I thought, "This crossing will be easy enough. Just one step on the boulder and I will be across." As I stepped, however, the boulder teetered and as quick as a flash, I was toppled over the side of the mountain. It happened so fast I had no time to grasp for anything. Just...down I went. My little back pack purse cushioned my fall and caused me to stop--with my head down hill and my legs and feet uphill! I was in a predicament for sure for the mountain was very steep and each time I tried to right myself I started sliding down the mountain more. Remember, too, that I was laying in a waterfall's path. (It's pretty comical to me now but at the time I was scared and shaking and had to use the bathroom badly.)

I gradually maneuvered myself around so that my head was upright (I quickly realized that I had to move slowly or I slid further down the mountain), and then I was able to get footing on the side away from the waterfall's trail and climb up and onto the trail. Wet, shaking, thankful that I was not 200 feet down the side of the mountain and alive and relatively well for such a fall, I started back down the trail--needing to use the restroom worse. (Many people have asked me why I didn't go in the trees. Know this dear reader, the next time I would!!!)

Starting down the trail again, I saw moose tracks and remembered that Dale Chadwick had seen a baby moose and its mother 2 days before and then I remembered that moose are very threatening--especially with their young.

On top of this thought, I remembered that it was in this area last year that a little boy had been dragged from his tent and killed by a bear.

My thoughts were now to get down the trail as quickly and safely as I could. I wanted to run but I couldn't because I knew it wouldn't be safe and because I had an elbow that was throbbing and an ankle that hurt if I stepped on it at a wrong angle.

I decided to sing right out loud because I had remembered hearing that animals don't like to be startled. I figured if they heard my singing they would know to leave. And, for me, singing brings peace and comfort. So, for probably 2 miles I sang and raced down the mountain as fast as I dared with my aching body.

I made it to the bathroom with great relief (No pun intended). Can you believe there was no toilet paper? My back pack came to my rescue again. I had a couple of packages of tissue in it. Before finishing my hike to our campground, I washed my face, combed my hair and drank some water.

By this point I could hardly wait to get to my motor home, eat lunch and take a nap.

On the short distance back, I took one wrong path and had to retrace my steps in the Timpanoke campground. Then when I was a short distance from our camp, I saw a leather-clad, long-haired motorcycle man come up and out of the area I was headed for. I just about turned and went another way but then the man saw me. So I went straight toward him. He crossed the road and leaned on his motorcycle and watched me. So I turned toward him and said, "hello." He smiled and greeted me back. I then went down from the road onto the trail and hurried to camp. I didn't look back until I was far from motorcycle man. He still leaned on his bike watching me.

May I just say that I was grateful to get back to my motor home! I went in, locked the door, ate a sandwich and lay on my bed. This was at 12:30 and at 4:00 Rachael knocked on the door and I woke from a deep sleep.

I have thought about this experience and realize how blessed I was to make it back safely. No one should ever go off alone on a mountain trail. I could have fallen a couple of hundred feet and no one would have found me very easily. No one came back from the hike to our campground and checked to see if I made it back safely. (This should be something for me to remember.) The simplest, unsuspecting thing can happen (a boulder rocks beneath your weight & topples you over the side of the mountain even when you are being very cautious) and your life can change forever. I realize I was not alone, however, because I had prayed as I started the walk down the trail and asked Heavenly Father to protect me. He allowed a lesson but he did protect me. I am still amazed that I wasn't hurt worse.